What a long strange trip it's been.

So Daphna and I are about to head back for the big party at The Museum of Sex’s opening of their sex machine exhibit in New York City. Featured in this exhibit is the photography of Timothy Archibald and many sex machines made by inventors from all over the planet that are featured in his new book, Sex Machines. I especially excited as our first internet controlled sex machine is a centerpiece in the gallery. It’s hard for it not to be as it a behemoth. One big heaping helping of fully automated orgasmic fun. 714lbs on it’s shipping pallet.

I am even more excited to meet some of America's most innovative sex machine inventors. Can you imagine a this group hanging out together??? Should be interesting. I am also going to get a chance to see the world's first cyber sex suit built and demonstared in 1993 by Stahl Senslie. It is an honor to have my work in the same room as his. He is a true artist and new media pioneer.

Timothy and I met last year while he was roaming the earth like Kane with his large format camera in Las Vegas, Nevada at the Enterprise Rental car location. We loaded up the car and proceeded to drive to The World’s Famous Chicken Ranch Brothel in Pahrump, which is close to the California border. I was in the process of making The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas into The Best Little Whorehouse on the Internet.

Here was my thought pattern….. Ever since our early days we have always had problems keeping the machine staffed 24/7 so the world could reach out and ACTUALLY pleasure a beautiful vixen sitting on thethrillhammer on the other end. Why not put thethrillhammer in a brothel. These girls have a ton of downtime between customers. They can make a few hundred dollars an hour AND get off at the same time by having sex with customers online. They can build up more intimate relationships with their customers and they could even travel to the brothel and have ACTUAL SEX with them. It's a win-win-win situation. Everybody comes, everybodies happy, right?

WRONG.

I am not going to get into to it now as it is an interesting topic. Long story short, why make $100+ a hour waiting for a ‘john’ to walk in when you can, pardon my French, do the nasty, the horizonal shuffle, boning, fucking, making love, whatever the kids call it these days, and make that in minutes. These women provide a valuable service to society and allow people an intimacy and a service that I hope is mutually beneficial to all involved. $100+ an hour is pocket change. Sometimes I wish I had a pussy.

Anyway Timothy snapped many amazing pictures of me setting up the machine is a vacant room at the brothel. This is one from the book of an exhausted me sitting on the floor after setting the machine up.

Why so tired? 3 hours on the plane, 3 more hours lost in the beautiful Red Rock Canyon desert in Nevada, and another couple of hours setting up. I was pretty pooped but I do have to say my feet look quite nice in the picture. The picture is proudly featured in the Sex Machine exhibit as well.

The trip kept getting more and more interesting.

This is Daphna’s account of what happened after I was done at the Ranch:

"So after Allen is done with the shoot and configuring the machine to go live in early September he starts back to the air port in Las Vegas. He sees a sign for a hot spring on an off road so naturally, he takes it. Drives for a mile or so and it turns into a REAL off road situation and he starts swerving and swerving and stops the car.

He has a flat tire in the middle of no where! He tries to call me from his cell and I get this broken message that he got a flat tire and the line cuts out. He’s lost cell reception…can you hear me now? He proceeds to change the tire and get back on the road. Needless to say he turned around and didn’t go to the hot springs.

One crisis overted…another one on the way…he sees another sign for "all you can eat lobster buffet" and stops in for a bite to eat. Stands in line for 45min and realizes that he’s going to miss his plane and dashes out of there without his lobster.

I get another call 'I didn’t get to eat my lobster. I thought I was going to miss my plane. I’m on my way to return the car and go to the airport.' Thank god we’ve been together long enough for me to understand him. So he gets to the airport and the plane is way over booked and he gets bumped. Call number 3…'I could have stayed at the buffet and ate a shit load of lobster. I got bumped and I’m here for another 6hrs' so he proceeds to party down in Vegas till he boards the plane and comes home. "

My life would be so boring if it weren’t for Allen. "

Somehow my love I highly doubt your life would be boring without me. I ended up having a grand time in Vegas and even played tourist and got my 'free picture' on the strip with the Blues Brothers.




What a long strange trip it’s been.